RePAIRr

Special thanks to LMFT Tania Choi.

RePAIRr helps with the rupture and repair process in psychology.
We'll be focusing on Reflection, Attunement, Ownership, Empathy, and Intention.

The problem with fights is that oftentimes the person who is upset may seem like he/she has the upper hand.
They get to choose when they want to yell at you, and for how long.

Imagine if your next conflict started with a text.
This would give you the right mindset to process the conflict.

Reflection is about processing both sides of the argument, since people have trouble listening when they're upset.
We'll be splitting Reflection into: Initial Rant and Zooming In.

Reflection: Initial Rant
This is important simply letting out all the steam and frustration.

Reflection: Zooming In
This is important for narrowing down the big and messy rant into specific identifiable actions.

Attunement is about identifying the other person's feelings.
This is important because people connect when they feel understood.

Ownership is about admitting what you did wrong and taking responsibility for your actions.
This is important so you can make space for the other person to do the same.

Empathy is about putting yourself in the other person's shoes.
This is important because doing so helps de-escalate a person who is upset.

Intention is about showing the other person that you share the same goals.
This is important to help engage the other person in the work of improving and repairing the relationship.

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