Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator

This app has been updated by Apple to display the Apple Watch app icon.

********** Sir Postal Dude joins the quarrel at your request **********

Ladies, Gentlemen and Unattended Psychopaths,

We finally know who’s responsible for the murder by the lake - it’s The Postal Dude himself, a very naughty gentleman visiting us from a series of games you claim you didn’t play. But we know you did, knowing how many of you asked for this character, you sick nincompoops! So there you go, at your special request: enjoy the company of a disturbing guest star, featuring the original voice of Rick Hunter! That is, if you can figure out how to unlock him ...

And if you hadn’t had enough of weird characters saying absurd and unpleasant things, check out the new game in the series: Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast. It has a brand new cast of movie-inspired characters, which will be getting even bigger with upcoming updates!

Yours truly
Vile Monarch

PS
Huge thanks to the friendly gentlemen at Running With Scissors for letting use The Postal Dude and helping us with the recording.

Hey there again dear illustrious gentleman,

"Your mother was a hamster and your brother doesn't know that Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu!"

Yes, it's not a joke! A brand new distinguished gentleman has arrived! Straight from R’lyeh...I mean from Providence, sir Howard Phillips Lovecraft already awaits. So grab today's update of Oh Sir! and insult even more with the master of horror... before the Great Old Ones arrive...

This is not all though! We're all super excited to announce that we're working on a follow-up to Oh...Sir!, and this time we're taking on la la land itself! This new project is called Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast and it will have many of the features and changes that some of you have been requesting, including a new comeback mechanic and much more. You can check out the epic first trailer for it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqVTfZelylk

- New character - an enterprising Cockney called Albert. Just Albert. (Do you remember that mysterious black chap from our promo art? He’s finally in the game!)
- AI tweaks
- From player suggestions: the hand won’t hide till you’re out of tea, so you’ll always remember to have that one last sip
- Satan is less cruel now. Which means it’s easier to get “The Number of The Beast” achievement
- Serious Sam is a bit harder to unlock now - the ease of unlocking him was previously a result of a bug

*** Without this update you will not be able to play multiplayer games against players who have installed it ***

Dear illustrious Ladies and Gentlemen,

We would just like to inform you that we’ve been listening to your many requests and beautifully worded suggestions, and we’re giddy like school boys to bring you the biggest update for the game yet.

The biggest headline feature is that we’re incredibly proud to announce that we’ve added one of the most requested distinguished gentleman into the verbal battle arena. This legendary fine fellow requires no introduction, as he’s been saving our planet from vile alien creatures since most of us were still holding on to our mother’s pants leg. So please welcome the one-and-only, Sam “Serious” Stone!!! He’s not here to dilly-dally around and comes packing a whole arsenal of new devastating verbal weapons of mass destruction!

Besides the inclusion of Serious Sam, this update also introduces the following key improvements to the game and its multiplayer mode:
•New Guest Character: Sam “Serious” Stone - Can you figure out how to unlock him?
•Important! This version is NOT compatible with the previous one in the online multiplayer mode: The bad news is you won’t be able to play with your slower friends, but the good news is that you won’t be playing with pirates neither (for a while…) So in order to play with all available players online, make sure you install this update
•Requested multiplayer scoring changes: disconnecting now counts as escaping, which constitutes a win for the opposing player.
•Multiplayer score changes are now saved after one of the players wins, but before the final dialogue (so you are free to disconnect during the dialogue)
•Bigger penalties if a player delays making their move for more than 15 seconds, several times in a row
•Small tweaks in how the insults are spoken (they should sound a tiny bit more natural)
•Additional minor scoring changes
•Fixed some typos: thanks to gentlemen in our community for rightfully reporting these unacceptable violations of the Queen’s English!

Please do not scurry too far away after installing this update though, as we have a lot more exciting surprises planned for the game. To this end, know that we’re keeping track of all guest character suggestions being put forward in the forums, so please keep these coming. We have more famous new faces lined up to join the verbal arena, so keep your eyes glued to your digital windows … you never know what other new surprises the dead parrot might bring you!

Thank you very much again for all of your venerable support!

The Vile Monarch

The bug where dialogues and some music weren't playing on some devices has been fixed; and we have also improved the game stability.