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Apps in this category may contain frequent and intense offensive language; Frequent and intense cartoon, fantasy or realistic violence: frequent and intense adult, scary and sexually suggestive subjects: as well as sexual content, nudity, tobacco, alcohol and drugs, may not be suitable for children under 17 years of age.

Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator Screenshots

iPad

iPhone

About Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator

The parrot is back from the dead bringing countless new insults for your disposal, Sir! Remember that silly game that parted lovers, destroyed families and turned friends into enemies? Here’s its successor that does even more, certainly with more style and more variety. And I have proof! This time you can spread affront to everyone in the world that has Internet access or - if you’re not the most sociable - you can sit alone and play with yourself. Nudge nudge.

So don’t let the parrot die for nothing and tell that grumpy old lady that her husband donated organs for a strange woman lying in a pond and that her sister poses nude for some dog. Then meet a retired hipster who admires pictures of a grunting sow, and a fake Russian who borrowed a dead body to put his teacup and crumpets on. It’s also the only game that lets you learn what’s The Meaning of Life, and that’s scientifically proven!

"Playing in local multiplayer mode made me laugh more in five minutes than most games manage over an entire campaign."
- Oscar Dayus, Pocket Gamer -

"Oh... Sir!' is our favorite insult-em-up"
- Aaron Souppouris, Engadget -

"Obviously, this game is getting my highest recommendation, and I expect to see it on a few end of year lists"
- Pockettactics

Game Features:

Loner’s Insult Tournament Mode:Battle your way through numerous unique situations and verbally assault your CPU

Real-Life Friends Mode: Duel against your actual friends on a couch, ottoman, or whatever else you like to rest your fanny on

Imaginary-Friends Mode: Verbally take down strangers from all over the world online, and bring the witty pain across any device using the game's Cross-Platform Multiplayer

5 Hilarious Playable Characters: Each with their own unique voices, quirky traits and hilarious “insult bits”

4 Conflict Scenarios: Lay down some verbal jujitsu across 4 different testy situations and dynamic environments

Contentious Battle System: Employ combos, criticals, continuations and other new mechanics to outwit your argumentative opponents!

What's New in the Latest Version 5.0

Last updated on Jul 25, 2017

Old Versions

This app has been updated by Apple to display the Apple Watch app icon.

********** Sir Postal Dude joins the quarrel at your request **********

Ladies, Gentlemen and Unattended Psychopaths,

We finally know who’s responsible for the murder by the lake - it’s The Postal Dude himself, a very naughty gentleman visiting us from a series of games you claim you didn’t play. But we know you did, knowing how many of you asked for this character, you sick nincompoops! So there you go, at your special request: enjoy the company of a disturbing guest star, featuring the original voice of Rick Hunter! That is, if you can figure out how to unlock him ...

And if you hadn’t had enough of weird characters saying absurd and unpleasant things, check out the new game in the series: Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast. It has a brand new cast of movie-inspired characters, which will be getting even bigger with upcoming updates!

Yours truly
Vile Monarch

PS
Huge thanks to the friendly gentlemen at Running With Scissors for letting use The Postal Dude and helping us with the recording.

Version History

5.0

Jul 25, 2017

4.0

Mar 17, 2017

Hey there again dear illustrious gentleman,

"Your mother was a hamster and your brother doesn't know that Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu!"

Yes, it's not a joke! A brand new distinguished gentleman has arrived! Straight from R’lyeh...I mean from Providence, sir Howard Phillips Lovecraft already awaits. So grab today's update of Oh Sir! and insult even more with the master of horror... before the Great Old Ones arrive...

This is not all though! We're all super excited to announce that we're working on a follow-up to Oh...Sir!, and this time we're taking on la la land itself! This new project is called Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast and it will have many of the features and changes that some of you have been requesting, including a new comeback mechanic and much more. You can check out the epic first trailer for it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqVTfZelylk

3.0

Jan 16, 2017

- New character - an enterprising Cockney called Albert. Just Albert. (Do you remember that mysterious black chap from our promo art? He’s finally in the game!)
- AI tweaks
- From player suggestions: the hand won’t hide till you’re out of tea, so you’ll always remember to have that one last sip
- Satan is less cruel now. Which means it’s easier to get “The Number of The Beast” achievement
- Serious Sam is a bit harder to unlock now - the ease of unlocking him was previously a result of a bug

1.05

Nov 11, 2016

*** Without this update you will not be able to play multiplayer games against players who have installed it ***

Dear illustrious Ladies and Gentlemen,

We would just like to inform you that we’ve been listening to your many requests and beautifully worded suggestions, and we’re giddy like school boys to bring you the biggest update for the game yet.

The biggest headline feature is that we’re incredibly proud to announce that we’ve added one of the most requested distinguished gentleman into the verbal battle arena. This legendary fine fellow requires no introduction, as he’s been saving our planet from vile alien creatures since most of us were still holding on to our mother’s pants leg. So please welcome the one-and-only, Sam “Serious” Stone!!! He’s not here to dilly-dally around and comes packing a whole arsenal of new devastating verbal weapons of mass destruction!

Besides the inclusion of Serious Sam, this update also introduces the following key improvements to the game and its multiplayer mode:
•New Guest Character: Sam “Serious” Stone - Can you figure out how to unlock him?
•Important! This version is NOT compatible with the previous one in the online multiplayer mode: The bad news is you won’t be able to play with your slower friends, but the good news is that you won’t be playing with pirates neither (for a while…) So in order to play with all available players online, make sure you install this update
•Requested multiplayer scoring changes: disconnecting now counts as escaping, which constitutes a win for the opposing player.
•Multiplayer score changes are now saved after one of the players wins, but before the final dialogue (so you are free to disconnect during the dialogue)
•Bigger penalties if a player delays making their move for more than 15 seconds, several times in a row
•Small tweaks in how the insults are spoken (they should sound a tiny bit more natural)
•Additional minor scoring changes
•Fixed some typos: thanks to gentlemen in our community for rightfully reporting these unacceptable violations of the Queen’s English!

Please do not scurry too far away after installing this update though, as we have a lot more exciting surprises planned for the game. To this end, know that we’re keeping track of all guest character suggestions being put forward in the forums, so please keep these coming. We have more famous new faces lined up to join the verbal arena, so keep your eyes glued to your digital windows … you never know what other new surprises the dead parrot might bring you!

Thank you very much again for all of your venerable support!

The Vile Monarch

1.01

Nov 3, 2016

The bug where dialogues and some music weren't playing on some devices has been fixed; and we have also improved the game stability.

1.0

Oct 25, 2016

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